


After Tony

by jarvisismymainbih



Category: Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, I cried writing it, Other, Please Be careful, Short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-09 07:29:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarvisismymainbih/pseuds/jarvisismymainbih
Summary: After the events of the Battle of Earth, they had to carry on. They saved the world. Although it felt like they could not save part of themselves. But they all have their own lives to live. And so they live on, remembering.





	1. 8 Days After Tony

**Author's Note:**

> Different character in different chapters, all the relationships would be more or less the same as in the MCU. Major endgame spoilers so read at your own risk. It will just be angst after angst because somehow I cope with angst. Don't think there will be anything really romantic and there might be more characters as I continue writing. If sad stuff makes you even sadder you might want to think twice about reading this. Try my best not to be OOC so please let me know if anything feels wrong. Let's be sad together guys.

8 Days After Tony.

School was alright. Peter couldn’t feel the passage of time anyways, so it was almost like he never left. Except that he knew he was gone. For 5 years. He almost couldn’t believe it at first. Refused to believe it. Because when he swung back onto Earth through Dr. Strange’s portal it was almost like time never passed. He only believed it when he saw Morgan. 

Mr. Stark has a daughter.

Had.

She was so adorable, and just as witty as her father. Peter imagined a few times how would Mr. Stark have introduced her to him. 

_“Oh her? She runs the things around here, after Pepper. It’s like living with two dictators. Morgan what would you like this little man servant here to do for you? He can stick himself onto the ceiling. You’d like to see that, no? It’s showtime kid you gotta keep her happy. If she’s happy, Pepper’s happy. Then I’m happy and FRIDAY is happy.”_  
Happy.

Happy did come over and chat with Peter after the ceremony. Peter could imagine losing someone older, a father figure. It’s not his first rodeo. Although it didn’t hurt less. Maybe even a little more. But he couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Happy. Or the Colonel. They have known each other for so long. They talked to everyone that came. Maintained every conversation. Smiled through everything. But Peter could barely look them in the eyes. To see the hurt. The pain. Behind their eyes. Still they pulled themselves together and got through everything.

There was another kid there. Harley. Peter have heard of that name a few times before, Happy sometimes talked on the phone about shipment to Tennessee for Harley Keener when Mr. Stark used to have him babysit Peter. Peter just didn’t think they were shipping parts to someone around his age. They chatted for a bit. He's smart, which didn’t really surprise Peter. Harley asked Peter how did he know Mr. Stark and Peter threw out the old excuse of the Stark internship hastily. But Peter knew that didn’t fool him. He panicked for a bit and figured out that Harley probably won’t tell anyone. He wondered if he would ever see Harley again. 

Captain was keeping to himself during most of the ceremony. It was kind of like that for Dr. Banner and Mr. Thor as well. (It was kind of weird talking to Dr. Banner when he is all Hulked out but it was still so cool) Although they still mingled for a bit. Mr. Arrow was just standing in the corner all by himself. Peter didn’t dare asking around. But he couldn’t find the really awesome lady with the red hair anywhere. Peter thought how it must be harder to lose two friends at the same time. He wouldn’t even want anything to happen to Flash, and this must be like losing Ned and Michelle at the same time. But the Captain did come over, and somehow their conversation went to the direction of comparing Queens and Brooklyn. Queens is of course a better neighbourhood, not to mention they have a friendly neighbourhood Spide- 

Ok maybe that was a bit too much. Boasting. Peter reminded himself that he needed to be humble.

Peter opened the door to his room and dropped his backpack. He threw himself onto the bed. Mr. Stark once left him a package on this bed. His suit. Mr. Stark gave him the suit.

Maybe he really should have stayed on the bus. Maybe things would have been different.

No. Peter reminded himself that he could not think like that. Mr. Stark saved him. Brought him back. It was just a pity he didn't get to properly thank him before-

Peter took a deep breath.

May had to clean the sheets and everything when Peter came home. Peter felt the sheets with his fingers. He loved how his own bed felt against his body, the familiarity. But right now it felt kind of alien. Maybe it was because of the 5 years. He could still remember vividly how crumbling apart felt like. Like he had just gotten a really really bad diarrhoea but at the same time he needed to throw up. But he could not do either of those things and he just wanted to curl himself up into a ball because his entire body felt like it was going to fall apart. Well, apparently it did. 

He didn’t really feel like himself again until he swung up to Mr. Stark and he gave him a hug. A really good hug. Long. And tight. Peter thought that hug was what put all of his body parts back together. He felt secured.

And he lost it.

Lost the security.

Lost Mr. Stark.

Peter closed his eye, and drifted into sleep.


	2. 23 Days After Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the quaint little lakeside cottage became covered by nightfall, people (and objects) started reminiscing in their own ways.

23 Days After Tony.

 

Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.

 

Pepper just put Morgan to bed. She sat back downstairs on the couch, and her eyes drifted towards the fireplace. What was on top of the fireplace.

 

Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.

 

They were not even together yet at that point, but Pepper was fed up with everyone calling Tony an egocentric maniac. Sure, he was a pain in her ass, and being his secretary was like cleaning after a blender that did not have a lid, but she liked being his secretary. She liked him. So, she placed the arc reactor into a little glass box and added a few words. Because that was the closest thing to his heart that she could get her hand on back then. It ended up saving his life, and he still kept it in a glass box after switching out to other arc reactors. The box was destroyed when Killian attacked their house, but Tony dug it out of the trash and kept it. When he got back from space and moved into this little lakeside house, he put it on top of the fireplace.

 

Now it had a wreath around it.

 

Pepper stood up from the couch and walked over to it. She could feel her eyes stinging. She missed him.

 

It had been almost a month now, and she still couldn’t forget how Tony looked at the compound that day. The fire that was always burning in his eyes had extinguished. Out of focus. The small “Pep?” that he breathed out. The fact that Tony only responded to her made her heart break all over again. Pepper didn’t think she deserved it. Everyone else there deserved Tony recognizing them. Especially the kid. Tony never really talked about the kid with her except the first two weeks he was back. The first two weeks he told her quite a lot. How he got back. How they made their stand on the planet Titan. How he thought Pepper would get along with Nebula. After that he stopped talking about it, but Pepper knew. He was mourning, that he couldn’t protect the kid. Tony thought he failed the kid. But Tony brought him back. And then Tony was gone. Without even properly sharing a moment together. Her heart ached so much thinking about it. But she couldn’t stop thinking about it. About how he listened to her. How the only thing on her mind was to let him know that everyone was ok. Because she knew he would worry. And that he could finally rest.

 

The way the light died in his eyes.

 

On his chest.

 

The days without him were alright. She would take care of Morgan and teach her. Tony used to be in charge of Maths, but now FRIDAY is doing most of the teaching for that. FRIDAY was also a lot quieter than usual. She would just run the house and execute every task to perfection, but she no longer respond in witty banters. DUM-E and U were also still doing basic chores around the house, just as Tony had them programmed to do. But Pepper was pretty sure that when she came home alone that day, she heard small mechanical whimpers from them.

 

Pepper knew they missed him too.

 

It was always the most difficult during the night. Especially after Morgan had gone to sleep. Pepper would have all these silence in the house. She would read as usual, but she could never focus. It just didn’t feel the same without Tony working in the next room, as she read surrounded by the sound of him tinkering. She went into the kitchen to get herself a cup of water. She placed her hands on the kitchen counter and exhaled all the air in her lungs. She looked at how the water surface ripple as her tear drops fell into the cup.

 

The nights were the most difficult because the silence was so intense it suffocated her.

 

Morgan had been an absolute angel as usual. Her little girl was what got her through the light of day every time she woke up from the dreamless slumbers. Her little footsteps and laughter would fill the house with noise, as if nothing had ever changed. But it hurt the most when Morgan would be curled up next to her on the bench, both of them resting in the sun after lunch, and she would tell Pepper “I miss daddy.”

 

I miss daddy.

 

Pepper had to be strong for her. She never cried in front of Morgan. She would force the words through her teeth and tell Morgan “I miss him too, honey. We all miss him.” She would not allow one single tear to fall from her eyes in front of Morgan. Because Tony wouldn’t want that. Tony wouldn’t want Morgan to be sad about this.

 

She finished the water, turned off the lights, and started walking upstairs to their room.

 

The room still smelled like Tony.

 

He always smelled a bit of a mixture between a new car and gasoline. She threw herself onto the bed, and stared at the ceiling. She suddenly felt like all the strength was pulled out of her, and she just wanted to lie here forever, surrounded by the scent of Tony.

 

By the memory of Tony.

 

“Shall I turn the lights off, Ms. Potts?” FRIDAY gently asked.

 

“Yes please, thank you FRIDAY.”

 

“Good night Ms. Potts.”

 

The room fell into darkness.

 

Pepper thought she heard a faint “Good night, Boss” from Tony’s working station downstairs.

 

She closed her eyes, and hoped that she could drift off into sleep where she could dream of Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know if y'all can catch it, but the running theme in all these chapters will be about remembering. As in:
> 
> "I hope they remember you."
> 
> Yeah, they do. They remember him. So fuck off you purple ball sack of a chin.
> 
> Also another recurring motif would be drifting off to sleep, and I think y'all can all figure out why. 
> 
> God I cried like three times writing this because I can't help it.
> 
> Also next chapter would be a little change of pace so stay tuned folks.


	3. 27 Days After Nat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It extracts a terrible price. Everything reminded him of her, and the gravity of the price that he paid.

27 Days After Nat.

 

They took the kids out for a little field trip today. Drove them to a beach and let them had some fun with building sandcastles and finding seashells. Lila managed to find a conch (she loved it), and Cooper taught Nathaniel how to bury himself in the sand.

 

The kids were exhausted, and as soon as they started the car on the way back, they fell asleep. Clint looked over to the passenger side, and Laura had cradled Nate in her arms, whilst smiling down at the little ball of joy. Feeling Clint's glance, she looked up and smiled at him lovingly.

 

“Did you have fun?” “

 

Well, for the most part, I am just glad we made the kids waste some of their energy. Maybe we can all go to bed earlier tonight.”

 

Laura chuckled at his words, “It was pretty nice laying in the sun. We haven’t been on a trip like this altogether for some time now, you know, somewhere outside instead of just our backyard. I’m sure the kids really appreciated that.”

 

Clint nodded, and continued to look ahead at the road. Laura was right. Due to his house arrest, he hadn’t been able to take the kids on a trip like this for a long time. Not to mention the 5 years that they lost.

 

The sunset painted the sky in a beautiful shade of orange, and Laura was enjoying the view from her window. She didn’t notice how Clint’s expression turned solemn at this sight.

 

The orange reminded Clint of the soul stone. The stone that saved the world. The stone that Nat sacrificed herself to get.

 

She saved the world.

 

Hell, Clint would be lying if he said he was ready to die. He had never been more grateful to be able to spend time with his family like this. He almost lost his chance. He was grasping at any chance he could get to be with his family after the Battle. Nat gave this to him. In exchange for her own life. She wasn’t ready to die either.

 

Her life had not even begun.

 

All her life she had been fighting, she never even had a chance to herself. Her duty left her no choice but to live like there would be no tomorrow. For the longest time, Clint and Fury and Laura were her only family. Then Fury brought the Avengers together. Clint knew she felt that she didn’t belong fully in his family with Laura and the kids, she always thought she was a parasite that was living off of their kindness, although both him and Laura did not think of her that way at all. But the team, the Avengers, she was a part of it from the beginning. Clint knew she felt at home. She felt like she belonged.

 

She almost had a chance to have a taste of starting her own life with Bruce, but then Ultron happened and scared Bruce away. Clint did not see that coming, and Laura had told him that he still needed to be older in order to understand that. Till the end, she was still fighting. Fighting for humanity. Fighting for the greater good. Fighting for another day.

 

Fighting for his family. Her family.

 

Nate came to Clint last week, and handed him a crayon drawing that he just finished. It had everyone in it, Laura, Cooper, Lila, Clint, Nate himself. And Nat. Nate said that he wanted to give this to Auntie Nat when they get to see her again. Clint pulled him up into his lap, and blinked back his tears. He told Nate that Auntie Nat was in heaven, and that he wouldn’t be able to see Auntie Nat for some time. He asked if they could go visit heaven soon. He said he missed Auntie Nat.

 

Holding Nate in his arm, all Clint could think about was how it would not have been possible if it was not for Nat. They would not have been brought back.

 

They were back at the house and Laura got the kids to shower. After parking the car in the garage, Clint sat down in the rocking chair on the front porch, staring at the last bit of sunset, the burning red halo over the horizon.

 

He regretted every second that he wasted hunting down cartels. Going rogue, and leaving Nat behind in the compound. Sure, his excuse was she had Steve and Rhodey and others to do good with her, but deep down he knew she needed him. He regretted not spending more time with her. Regretted letting her worry about him.

 

She thought she owed him everything even in the face of death. Clint was thinking maybe it’s the other way round. She thought he saved her all those years ago by sparing her on that mission. But maybe it was her who saved him.

 

She always said she wanted to wipe out the red on her ledger.

 

Clint watched that last bit of red disappear behind the horizon. He could feel the exhaustion from the trip to the beach kick in. He rested his eyes, whilst hoping that he could see the blazing red of her hair in his dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told y'all this chapter would be a change of pace because I am very much salty about Markus and McFeely's blatant disrespect for Natasha Romanoff by NOT GIVING HER A FUCKING FUNERAL SCENE. The first female Avenger and they disrespect her like this. She deserves so much better than some misogynistic write-off. 
> 
> If y'all have any request to see any characters/ read about any particular relationship please let me know and I will try my best to make it work!


End file.
